Wednesday, 11 August 2010

In Search of Lost Socks

I love conspiracies. I don’t believe in them, necessarily, but I find them and the people that do infinitely fascinating. I even ended up as a moderator on an online conspiracy forum after poking fun at the other members long enough for the owners of the site to decide that since I wasn’t a believer, that I might be a good choice for impartially meting out online justice. There is a conspiracy to suit every taste - from 2012 doom-mongers to the bunch that believe the Queen is a shape-shifting reptile - there are more conspiracies apparently than there are people to conspire in the first place. After all it takes more than one person to create a conspiracy, right?

I decided to see if anyone on the forum had an answer to the age-old missing sock mystery. You know - where do those missing socks go? We all seem to have a drawer full of single socks with no mates - could there be a plot or some unknown force of nature that could account for their baffling, yet common disappearances? Here are a few of the answers I received from the tin-foil hat contingent:

Lost socks are actually clothes hanger larvae. That explains how all those extra clothes hangers end up in your closet.

Socks are actually magnetised. If they are not careful at the factory, they may end up sorting oppositely charged socks which repel each other.

One theory holds that the Rings of Saturn are made up of lost socks.

One sock of a pair is designed to disintegrate in the dryer, forcing you to buy more. The evidence for this is all that lint in the filter.

One conspiracy thinker had a very convoluted theory involving drug dealers who pose as window cleaners to steal socks so that they can keep their drugs in them. If they have to discard their stash sock during a chase, the DNA evidence will point to the unwitting citizen they stole the sock from (I can’t make this stuff up, I swear).

So, there you have it, straight from the people that think television is designed to control your mind (wait, they were right about that one...). If you don’t have time to ponder these mysterious disappearances, but would like for your personal sock collection to remain intact, it may be a good idea to employ the help of domestic cleaning services. One of the many cleaning services London has to offer can help solve your household crises without sending you into the Twilight Zone.

1 comment:

  1. Eating socks monster lives inside the laundry. That's what happens with our socks